A Moment In Time Writing

In Te Ngahere we were writing a moment in time story. The moment in time story was about the forest. What I did well is that I got more information, what I could do better is to not use I, we and you.

Here is my writing

The forest is like a tree giving another tree a high five. The dirt is like quicksand making people stuck in the mud. The wind is like giving the boats and bird's energy to move. The birds are like singing to their friends and making people annoyed with the birds sing.

Trees are like emeralds growing in their nest like little birds. The clouds are like dinosaurs in the sky having a dinosaur fight. I can see trees growing like a house being rebuilt. The bird’s are like the ‘Twitter’ bird tweeting to each others like on twitter.

The Tui is like talking to another bird from the other side of the tree. The fog is like a sand storm coming our way to destroy the trees. The rocks are like diamonds stuck in the rock for a long time until a brave and mighty warrior come and get the diamond out of the rock to give it to his king.